Parties, cheap women, cheaper wine, Ho-Downs, more women, fast cars, slow days, flying monkeys serving us drinks, and more of that delicious panda meat. From now on TFS is playing in the big league. Well, not the big league exactly. The middle league, maybe. Well, the minor league. Okay, admitted, we still operate in the same dirty ol’ gutter hole that we used to. But hey, at least there’s money to be found (look for the bearded guys with coffee paper cups kneeling on the board walk - that’s us).

To put it all in perspective: The Fruit Stand has rid itself of its last shred of morals, betrayed its country and fans, and sold out to the mighty, mighty Flight1 Corporation. Their new Ultimate Traffic II product will use, not to a small part, Craig Ritchie’s models and our paints produced over the last months. We guess you can answer the ‘why’-question yourself - it’s quick money for us; show us somebody who says we’re not up for quick money, and we’ll show you a liar.

So to help you over this first shock, we took the liberty of presenting you with the conversation we’re going to have more than once. Saves us all some time.

Angry freeware customer (AFC): WTF?! Seriously, why?!

The Fruit Stand’s Official Executive Vice Press Secretary in spé (TFSOEVPSIS): Models and paints turn into money -> turns into food and booze for us -> turns into happiness for us -> turns into extensive drug use for us -> turns again into happiness for us -> turns into more models and paints. It’s also called the Circle of Life.

AFC: Still, WTF! I feel betrayed. I’ve been so extremely loyal to you over the last years. I’ve taken everything you made without even giving you the hassle of flooding you with Thank-You-Notes-That-Smell-Like-Fresh-Babies-With-A-Scent-Of-Red-Roses!

TFSOEVPSIS: Believe me, that we know! We’re so sorry.

AFC: So just to state the obvious once more: you sick SOBs sold out and betrayed us. US! Everything you ever stood for is gone, vanished, I don’t know what to believe in anymore.

TFSOEVPSIS: Yes. Exactly.

AFC: …

TFSOEVPSIS: It’s nothing we’re quite proud of … something we’re quite proud of … good for us, because finally, during our semi-monthly dinner parties, Craig won’t feel embarrassed and sorry for himself anymore for being the only one wearing a top hat and a monocle. New protocol demands that everyone attending now wears it. And mustaches. Never forget mustaches!

AFC: So what happens now? No more free stuff for us? And I have to stress this: no more free stuff for us????!!!!!!!!

TFSOEVPSIS: Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind.

AFC: I would say I’m sorry, but … didn’t you hear me?! Will we keep getting our free stuff???!!?!

TFSOEVPSIS: We’ll see about that. Depends on if we’re really getting a 51% cut of UT2’s revenue.

AFC: Oh fuck you!

TFSOEVPSIS: And a good day to you, good sir.

AFC: Whow, hold on there just a minute, buster!

TFSOEVPSIS: I said good day!

We’d like to conclude this wonderful broadcast on a very serious note: we gett da munni and da bling, biatchez! If you think anything else is relevant in this matter, you obviously take certain aspects in your life, say this hobby, too seriously. As a famous Scotsman playing a Brit once said: “What’s the problem? Too good to collect a stranger’s urine?” Exactly. Think about that!

Some anonymous source handed us a secret copy of of tomorrow’s edition of the Fructus Gazette. We won’t hesitate to share it with you.

Although we know about the violent delicacy of this topic, according to our whistleblower the model in question can evidently be found on our Bombardier Dash8-300 page.

Prologue: just imagine John Madden doing a Frank Caliendo impersonation doing a John Madden impersonation.

Heads up! We’ve just created GOD! It’s an almighty, omnipotent, grey-bearded, some would say devine machine, watching over all of us - you, me, him, everybody! Except for him. That’s right, GOD doesn’t like him!
It can be found here and there, most likely when you least need it at all, but most of all, in you! … Well, not really. But the PR guys said that would just sound better. And would be totally awesome. They’re gonna be gone by tomorrow. Oh by the way, this is GOD v2 (The Better One™) - version 1 was internal only anyway.

So for any of you sinners who still don’t understand what the hell this is all about, let me draw you a picture. Literally.

Suffice to say, GOD’s power comes not from its size (hell, it could easily fit into one of those new Boeing 777Fs everyone keeps babbling on about - and which are available from our store for a limited time only!), or it’s name, Saab 100, but from its heart and soul. Which is electric wiring, mostly, to be honest. Also some bolts. And paint. Yep, that’s it. There’s your 42.

“Oooooooonce … moooooooore … we oooopen the doooooor…”

Stop your fracking singing, Craig!

Céline Dion may be the unwelcome leading product when it comes to spreading the Canadian feeling, but this bird sure makes a better sound. While sharing similar looks (except for the blades - the Dash uses six on each side, while Dion only carries three with her at all times, in order to defend herself from attacking stalkers), Céline Marie Claudette surely can’t claim she has XML flaps. Or animated gears. Or elevators. And most of all, Céline doesn’t even have LODs (which would make her so much more bearable from the distance).

The Fruit Stand presents the Bombardier Dash8-400 (a.k.a. The Answer to Everything that’s Wrong in this World).

Check avsim.com and flightsim.com for the Bombardier Dash8-400 along with repaints by Boris Le Veve, John Massey, Federico Permutti, Heiko Schmidt, Denis Schranz, Arnaud Solvay, Jakob Tischler and Steve Tran. Meanwhile a clue about Céline’s whereabouts might be found here.

…to your skies!

Ever wondered if that sexy girl at a party has a little sister? One with less botox and less silicon? Well, we’ve got the answer to your question: Sweden’s Christmas Babe of the Year, the Saab 340 a.k.a. Lil’ Egberta.

Greta Bustysson’s little sister comes with a body measurement of 2665 really sexy polys, another very fine set of animated landing gear, six even more seductive LODs, extremely mellifluously drooping elevators and - if treated as properly as Greta - maybe even XML controlled flaps. Yet for those not satisfied with just one new lady we have prepared a detailed manual (including high-res images!) to show you how to make two babes out of one - for free.

Head over to avsim.com and flightsim.com to get yet another one of Craig Ritchie’s fancy lady, along with clothes made by Federico Permutti, Boris Le Veve, Steve Tran, Heiko Schmidt and Jakob Tischler.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!