Some anonymous source handed us a secret copy of tomorrow’s edition of the Fructus Gazette. We won’t hesitate to share it with you.

Fructus Gazette

Although we know about the violent delicacy of this topic, according to our whistleblower the model in question can evidently be found on our Bombardier Dash8-300 page.

Prologue: just imagine John Madden doing a Frank Caliendo impersonation doing a John Madden impersonation.

Heads up! We’ve just created GOD! It’s an almighty, omnipotent, grey-bearded, some would say devine machine, watching over all of us – you, me, him, everybody! Except for him. That’s right, GOD doesn’t like him!
It can be found here and there, most likely when you least need it at all, but most of all, in you! … Well, not really. But the PR guys said that would just sound better. And would be totally awesome. They’re gonna be gone by tomorrow. Oh by the way, this is GOD v2 (The Better One™) – version 1 was internal only anyway.

So for any of you sinners who still don’t understand what the hell this is all about, let me draw you a picture. Literally.

The Saab 100 Fruit

Suffice to say, GOD’s power comes not from its size (hell, it could easily fit into one of those new Boeing 777Fs everyone keeps babbling on about – and which are available from our store for a limited time only!), or it’s name, Saab 100, but from its heart and soul. Which is electric wiring, mostly, to be honest. Also some bolts. And paint. Yep, that’s it. There’s your 42.

“Oooooooonce … moooooooore … we oooopen the doooooor…”

Stop your fracking singing, Craig!

Céline Dion may be the unwelcome leading product when it comes to spreading the Canadian feeling, but this bird sure makes a better sound. While sharing similar looks (except for the blades – the Dash uses six on each side, while Dion only carries three with her at all times, in order to defend herself from attacking stalkers), Céline Marie Claudette surely can’t claim she has XML flaps. Or animated gears. Or elevators. And most of all, Céline doesn’t even have LODs (which would make her so much more bearable from the distance).

The Fruit Stand presents the Bombardier Dash8-400 (a.k.a. The Answer to Everything that’s Wrong in this World).

The Bombardier Dash8-400 Fruit

Check avsim.com and flightsim.com for the Bombardier Dash8-400 along with repaints by Boris Le Veve, John Massey, Federico Permutti, Heiko Schmidt, Denis Schranz, Arnaud Solvay, Jakob Tischler and Steve Tran. Meanwhile a clue about Céline’s whereabouts might be found here.

…to your skies!

Ever wondered if that sexy girl at a party has a little sister? One with less botox and less silicon? Well, we’ve got the answer to your question: Sweden’s Christmas Babe of the Year, the Saab 340 a.k.a. Lil’ Egberta.

The Saab 340 Fruit

Greta Bustysson’s little sister comes with a body measurement of 2665 really sexy polys, another very fine set of animated landing gear, six even more seductive LODs, extremely mellifluously drooping elevators and – if treated as properly as Greta – maybe even XML controlled flaps. Yet for those not satisfied with just one new lady we have prepared a detailed manual (including high-res images!) to show you how to make two babes out of one – for free.

Head over to avsim.com and flightsim.com to get yet another one of Craig Ritchie’s fancy lady, along with clothes made by Federico Permutti, Boris Le Veve, Steve Tran, Heiko Schmidt and Jakob Tischler.

krckzszzzzz … [insert funny text here] … krrrrrkrzz present … A310 … shshskrkrkrshsh Craig Ri… krrrzckksh … XML fla… krrr … funny looking krkrkrkshshszzzh LODs … kkrssssszzzkkhk Eleva… krkrkrkrkrrr etymological Ornithologist shshshshshsh CAN’T HEAR YOU! shshshshshsh … Paints by … krzs ris Le Ve… krrkssshhzz John Ma … krssh SPEAK UP, BASTARD! sssssshsssh Fede … krrrzckksh [more funny text] … krrshshshsh Fruit Sec…shshshshshkrrkrsh

The Airbus A310 Fruit